ADMIRING TOO MUCH
Author: Fr. Michael Byron
February 27, 2021
In the closing scene from the movie “Ordinary People”, (now
40 years old), there is an intimate exchange on the back porch of a family home
in the middle of the night between a father and his teenage son.
The father is devastated because his wife had just gone off
in a taxi cab, ending their marriage. The family had already lost another child in an accident, and the father
blames himself for all of the loss. He
is weeping. He’s been a failure.
His son is speaking words of encouragement to his Dad, and
tells him that he admires him.
In response, the father says, “well don’t admire people too
much; they’ll disappoint you sometimes.”
And the son responds, “I’m not disappointed- I love you.”
There’s a lot of wisdom in that exchange. We might only add that when we admire people
too much-for their earthly successes and reputation-they won’t just let us down
“sometimes”, they will disappoint us certainly. If it’s an admiration that is based on
anything less than love, then it’s a set up for heartache and disorientation
when the inevitable failures come.
To admire other human beings is a good thing. To admire them too much, by gifting them with
the trust that only God deserves, is perilous. Even a spouse, a best friend, a teacher, mentor, coach, - and yes a
parent, will eventually reveal him or herself to be flawed and imperfect. And only love can be stronger than the
disappointment of that.
To realize that can perhaps help us to understand better the
Gospel today of the Transfiguration of the Lord. We hear of Jesus taking his closest friends up the high mountains in
Galilee and allowing them to see him in a dazzling vision of glory, for just a
moment. And then to allow them to hear
the voice of Almighty God directed specifically to them: “This is my beloved
son; Listen to him”.
Peter, James & John already had a great admiration for
Jesus because of the power that he exercised over demons and the wisdom of his
words. They put their trust in him for
the same reason that people would admire anyone who could do such
things. But the tide was about to
turn. In the previous section of this
gospel Jesus had just warned those admiring friends of his that we would have
to suffer, and be rejected, and even die. And nobody wanted to hear about that. Jesus realized that the possibility of his disciples’ disappointment
would be great, and so he led them up the mountain in order to have them know
that none less than God would assure his ultimate success…but it would have to
wait. He wanted them to be assured that
he and he alone was worthy of being “admired too much”. He would never leave or betray them, but he
knew that it would surely soon begin to seem that way to them, and that
without love and trust it would be too hard for them to follow.
No wonder Peter suggested that everybody just stay up there
on top of the mountain, where everything was literally bright & shiny &
glorious & safe. But it couldn’t
last-not if they were to be faithful to the call and mission to make God’s
kingdom known. They had to come down
again, to stay with Jesus in his suffering and death. There must have been many a day when the
disciples second-guessed themselves about Jesus. Had they perhaps really admired him too much-
this “Messiah” who could be rejected by ordinary people, ridiculed, beaten,
imprisoned, killed? They must have felt
the stirrings of deep disappointment.
But then there were the bonds of love, and the memory and
promise of what happened on top of the mountain that day. They were stronger than all of the apparent
failures of their ministry- and that of Jesus. And so they stayed.
In this Lenten season of 2021, as we look out over the state
of our world, our country, our church, our city, there is much that seems to
have failed. Even in our homes & families
it can be easy to recognize apparent failures and disappointments. There’s a lot of suffering & injustice
going on.
If this were all we could expect as the result of our
efforts, and those of the people that we admire too much, then we would be right
to lose hope.
But it’s not. The
Transfiguration gives us a glimpse of what lies ahead for us, after the sorrow,
after the upended plans and after the seemingly ruined dreams.
It is heavenly glory, guaranteed by God to those who will
but listen to and remain faithful to his beloved son-in Love.
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