WHAT GOOD IS THAT?

Andrew said, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish; but what good are these for so many?” What good are these?  What good are these?  Isn’t that the worst question that a Christian disciple could ask? 

I spent this morning at the burial of my distant cousin, Sister Colleen Byron, who was a sister of St. Francis in Rochester for 71 years, and who died seven months ago at the age of 90. At the time of her death, nobody could gather because of the virus. So, we waited. Sister Colleen was a high school Latin teacher, and a spiritual director, and a minister of hospitality at the Mayo Clinic and its hospitals, and a gentle friend, and mentor, and encourager.  But as her Franciscan Sisters remembered her at the grave today, they said that her greatest suffering in life was in not recognizing her own goodness, her own holiness, her own gifts to others.  Everybody else did, but she struggled to believe it.

And Andrew said, “what good are these for so many?”  What good am I in such a big world, and in such a big church, and a big mission for so many?  What good am I? And as he did so often, Jesus today in the Gospel of John posed a question to his followers in order to “test them.” He said to his friend Philip, “where can we buy enough food for them to eat?”  It was a trick question, because, as Jesus already knew, the answer did not involve buying anything. It involved a considered look into resources that were already there, that they already had, and believing that it would not only be enough, but far more than what was needed.

What good are these meager gifts of mine?  What good am I to the mission of Christ? Anyone who has ever spent any amount of time with holy people recognizes this incredible paradox:  the Saints among us who are the source of so much grace and encouragement and love among others are the very people who wonder if they have been good and faithful enough, whether they have given generously enough, whether what they have offered is sufficient enough. It grieves me, but it does not surprise me that Sister Colleen Byron was nagged by that question throughout her long and beautiful life.

“What good are these?”, asked Andrew.  A little bread and a couple of fish. What good are these? We could add today such ordinary things like:

• A listening ear when someone is suffering - what good is that?
• A cup of coffee when a neighbor feels all alone?what good is that?
• A word of Thanks and love when another person feels ignored?what good is that?
• A gesture of forgiveness to end a fight?what good is that?
• Just showing up to an important gathering?what good is that?
• A promise of prayer for someone in a dire situation?what good is that?
  

What good are these?  What good are these?  Without God’s grace they may not be much good.  But we disciples are the ones who claim to believe that nothing we do in God’s name is done without the help of God’s grace, which is far bigger and wider than anything we control. We’re just the spigot.

Well into her 80s, Sister Colleen was a greeter, and a cleaner-upper, and a taker-out-of-the-trash for the sake of families staying at the Ronald McDonald House at the Mayo Clinic. “What good is that?” St. Andrew may have asked--so little, and so inadequate. Well it’s not my good, or hers, or anybody else’s.  It’s God’s, in and through the seemingly simple and unremarkable things that we are given to do each day.

• Through our work
• Through our parenting
• Through our studying
• Through our praying
• Through our serving
• Through our visiting
• Through however it is that we care for others, especially the most vulnerable.
  

And I’d like to put out a special appeal to our teenagers and young adults here in this regard.  Do you really believe that your gifts and your witness to faith actually makes a difference in the greater unfolding of God’s reign? Does that question, “What good am I?” raise an echo in your soul? If so, this gospel is meant especially for you.

Jesus in today’s gospel assures us that we already have everything we need to be His effective agents and servants.  We struggle to believe it, but He does not. And more than that, when we fail to act upon the grace that is ours in and through the seemingly ordinary activities of our lives, we are being less than what our baptism has summoned us to be.

“What good are these things for so many?” Andrew asked.  Answer:  Way, way more than we think.  God rest you Sister Colleen, and God challenge all the rest of us!