GOD IS IN CONTROL
Author: Fr. Michael Byron
January 02, 2021
Since I was the firstborn child to
my parents, I got to spend the first part of my life as the center of the
universe in our family home. I have no memory of it, but it must have been a
pretty satisfying experience for me. But it lasted for not even 13 months
before my next eldest sibling was born. And then another, and another, all within
four years. Again, I don’t exactly recall my response to all that, but it was
probably one of bewilderment, as in, “Hey, we already have a child around here,
and I’m it!”
Very early on in my life I was
de-centered as the receiver of all attention. So the developmental task for me
became to either figure out how to live with that, or to become angry and
resentful about it. Sixty years later I still love all my siblings – including the
youngest two more who came along years later, so I’d like to think that somehow
I figured it out well enough back then.
The great St. Augustine was
insightful about many things regarding the human condition, and for that reason
he did not dote over the cuteness of babies. On the contrary, he once wrote that
babies are some of the most profound examples of the innate selfishness with
which people are born. If a baby wants something – food, milk, a dry diaper,
attention – he or she simply screams until help arrives. As children grow, they
have to learn their way out of that default reaction – although not everybody
is successful at doing so.
There seems to be something
automatic in our nature that I and we demand to be in control over the
circumstances of our environment and of our relationships, and that those
things exist to serve me and my desires. And when they are threatened, like a
little baby we can either come to terms with the threat, or we can lash out in
resistance. What separates human beings from every other animal is that we have
the freedom to make that important choice, by the grace of God.
In the scriptures, King Herod was
evidently a person who never made the right choice that way. By most accounts
he was insane, but by every biblical account, he never figured out how not to
be the center of control. And when he felt threatened, his immediate response
was one of fear and violence. But it wasn’t just he and his personal
insecurity. Today’s gospel tells us that the arrival of the Magi in Jerusalem
made him “troubled” – AND “all the people of Jerusalem with him.” Not all the
residents of Jerusalem were insane, we assume. But they were all possessed of
that unfortunate human instinct to make the world accountable to me.
That instinct has never gone away,
and it never will. So the task for us Christians – and really for any person of
goodness – is to learn and live our way in to something better. When the Magi appeared
before Herod, their question was about where to find the newborn King of the Jews.
Surely Herod’s first thought would have been, “We already have a King of the
Jews here, and he’s not newborn, and I happen to be he.” That’s why he was “troubled,”
as the scriptures tell us. There was a threat to his control lurking out there
in the dark night of Bethlehem, and it had to be eliminated. We all know what
happened next with the mass murder of children, and the exile into Egypt.
And all of those other “troubled”
citizens of Jerusalem, even if they may not have like King Herod or the
circumstances of their lives, at least knew what they could expect from day to
day, and could adapt as they needed to, and in that sense maintain some sort of
control of things.
The loss of a sense of control can
be very frightening. But it can also be an awakening to what is most real and
true about our lives, and in that way, it can make us more free to welcome God
into our hearts and homes and families.
During my first year of life, I suppose
that I really believed that I was the center of the universe, really was in
control of my destiny. But it was never true, not entirely.
King Herod in his fear and rage
and bloodshed believed that he had the power to upend God’s plan for our
salvation. But that was never true either.
The mission of the Magi, in
addition to paying homage to the Newborn King, was to put Herod and the
citizens of Jerusalem on notice about who is ultimately going to see to the
good order of the universe and the restoring of rightness among people.
It is the Lord, who arrived in the
most vulnerable and peaceful way possible, and who lived out his whole earthly
life that way – not by controlling people or situations, but by inviting them
and us to trust in a Life Source bigger than themselves. He’s still doing it.
As St. Augustine so well knew,
there is something naggingly counter-intuitive about that, so it takes prayer,
humility, and courage to live in to that. And maybe the season of COVID-19 is
the perfect invitation for us to come to terms with just who is in control of things.
And I don’t mean the scientists. We need them too – very much. But even they
stand before a greater Center of the Universe!
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